As I write this, the sky outside is getting dark; ominous
black clouds gathering, the harbinger of a coming tropical monsoon storm. Parts
of my country Malaysia is submersed in the annual floods that plague this
country in the monsoon period. The darkness of the gathering storm reflects the
darkness of my soul. No, I did not have a bad year. In fact, 2013 will be
considered by many to be a very successful year for me. I have received
accolades for my medical work and medical teaching. I achieved the pinnacle in my academic
development. I have presented a theological paper in an international
conference, taught well received courses in theological seminaries, preached
numerous sermons and led a couple of retreats. And many have been blessed by
these. Yet, I feel empty. I feel a longing for something or someone. I feel
homesick. C.S. Lewis has expressed what I am feeling well when he described
that feeling he had as if hearing a familiar music from behind a door of a
party you have not been invited to. The music invoking a sense of longing, a
sense of homesickness of a home you have never seen before.
Advent, the season which leads to Christmas offers me this
opportunity to express my homesickness. Christmas is the day we celebrate the
birth of the Christ, God incarnate who took on human flesh. The almighty that
became vulnerable as a newborn baby in Mary’s arms. The Messiah has come to
take on the sins of the world so that all may be reconcile to the Holy Father. The
Christ event has made possible my ticket home. This ticket was offered to me
free by God’s loving grace. Like a person with amnesia, I may not remember what
this home is like but I know that it will be a good place. This home will be where
there is space for me to be me; with no pretensions or deceptions. Where I am
loved for who I am, not what I do. Home is a space where I feel wanted and am comfortable
in. Not an alien resident or squatter in a foreign land. This space is where I
belong and am being part of. Coming to this home will be like I have never
left. While I am here in this world, this home is still in me and will always
be part of me.
Advent and Christmas promise new beginnings. Being at the
end of December it is the closing of the year and a new year beckons. Many new journeys
begin from home. We strike out from our safe comfortable homes on new quests of
discoveries. Advent is coming back to base, rest and equip for another year
ahead. Advent is homecoming. Christmas is home base. Then living forward to
another quest; another year ahead of discovering the transcendent and immanent
God in our daily lives.
Finally, Advent is coming home to another Christ event, that
of His second coming. The return of the king will bring to an end the
tremendous suffering of this groaning creation, and the billions of human souls
on it. It will be an end to pain, suffering, loneliness and loss. The shalom of the Garden of Eden, the
original perfect creation will be restored. And we will all come home, only to
discover as T.S Eliot notes, it is where we all have began from.
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Labels: Advent, Christian Spirituality, Christmas