Never before in the history of
mankind has so much information about any individual is available on the
Internet to those who know how to search for it. Similarly, never before are
there so many platforms for individual to self-disclose or reveal themselves in
a frequent or even the minute to minute moments of her/his life. Such platforms
such as Facebook, Tumbr, Twitter, Linked In, Youtube, Whatsapp, blogs, and
websites are receiving a continuous stream of really personal information, some
of which should be kept private and confidential. There are many reasons why
people do this. Some of these reasons are connecting with others,
self-affirmation, seeking affirmation, marketing and boasting. In this climate
of apparent ‘openness’ how does the spiritual discipline of secrecy fits in?
The spiritual discipline of
secrecy is to keep some of our actions private and confidential. Some of these
actions may be what we do in public in the presence of other people while
others are what we do in private when no one else is around and watching. This
discipline helps us to develop a spiritual habit that acts again spiritual
pride and develop trustworthiness.
Jesus highlights three actions
that need the spiritual discipline of secrecy: giving, prayer, fasting in his
Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5-7)
On giving (Matt. 6: 1-4)
“Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be
seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So
when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites
do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the
truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy,
do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your
giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret,
will reward you.
On prayer (Matt. 6:5-6)
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to
pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I
tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room,
close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who
sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
On fasting (Matt. 6:16-18)
“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they
disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they
have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and
wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but
only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in
secret, will reward you.
The idea is not to trumpet our
good deeds or piety before other people because we want them to think well of
us. This is spiritual pride. This is also a delusion because most people do not
think about us at all! They are too busy thinking about themselves. Jesus teaches
us that not all our actions need to be made public or share to be ‘like’ on Facebook!
The spiritual discipline of
secrecy is a covenant to keeps secrets entrusted to us and to stop gossips by
controlling our tongue. Our relationship with others is based on trust. This
trust has to be earned. The fact that you are able to keep secrets offers a
safe place where others can share their personal stuff with you. The opposite
of this is gossip. Christians are great gossips. Under the guise of sharing ‘prayer
request’ we are often spreading gossips thus breaking the sacred trust in
relationships. Sometimes, even public prayers are means to share gossip “Lord,
please help Johnny with his gambling problem”.
James notes,
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great
boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The
tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts
the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set
on fire by hell.
(James 3:5-6)
The spiritual discipline of
secrecy not only develop spiritual habits for when we are with people but also
when we are alone. We should guard against impure thoughts and actions when we
are alone. Who we are in private should be who we are when we are with people.
This is because we are never alone. Even in our most secluded moments God is
present. We should seek to focus more on what God thinks of us than what other
people does.
Practicum
1. Examine
your giving, prayer and fasting practices. Do you do it so that others can see
how generous and pious you are? If so, refrain from doing it for others but
seek to do it with anonymity
2. Decide
before the Lord that you will keep the secrets that is entrusted to you. When
you are tempted to share these secrets, pray for strength to control your
tongue
3. Do
not tell others that you are keeping secrets
4. Try
to behave the same when you are alone as when you are with other people. Keep
your focus and try to please God. Do not try to please others to fit in. If you
fail, confess and try again
5. When
alone, keep your thoughts and action pure
6. Do
something good for someone this week anonymously (pay for someone’s dinner at
the restaurant when you are leaving, leave a gift for your colleague, write a
letter of encouragement to someone etc)
The spiritual discipline of
secrecy helps us develop spiritual habit against spiritual pride. It also helps
us to control our tongue to keep secrets and avoid gossips. God is with us in
our secret lives as He is with us in our public ones.
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Labels: Spiritual Direction, Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation, spiritual formation communities