Conversation with my Grandson about Education

Hello little boy,

You look so grown up in your new school uniform and cute school bag. You are so happy that you are now allowed to follow your Jie Jie up the school bus to go to school. Was it only a year ago when you drag your bag following your Jie Jie to the school bus and were upset because they did not allow you on? You were too young then. Now you are big enough. Grampa is very proud and happy that you are starting your formal learning which is a small part of your life-long learning. Formal learning is what you do in school. Life-long learning should be part of who you are, little one.

You have learnt much since you were a little bundle of joy. Well not too little as you were a big baby but a bundle of joy nevertheless. You are still learning. Grampa and Por Por are very impressed by you as you demonstrates new skills every time we see you. You have a long journey ahead of you in your formal schooling – nursery, kindergarten, primary, secondary, junior college, and university. All these are essential if you are to be equipped to be literate and earn a degree for employment. Big people called this schooling an education.

Big people with big titles proudly tell you that this education will teach you not to think inside a box but outside it. Grampa is not impressed with them or their boxes. What Grampa wants for you is to be able to think without a box! Why should you be limited by other big people’s narrow thinking? What Grampa hopes that in these years in school you will develop critical thinking skills and to love learning. This will be more valuable that all the degrees and professional certificates that you earn along the way. The world you grow up into will be different from the world today. Your first degree may get you into your first job. Then you will have to retrain for your next one.

Little one, learn to think critically and love to learning new things, skills and challenges. People has always asked why Grampa and Por Por did not send your Mummy and Ah Yee to be educated in Singapore. Singapore has one of the best schooling system in the world. Grampa and Por Por believed that while in Malaysian school, your Mummy and Ah Yee can learn to think and grow with more freedom. They did not turn out too badly, you will agree. Grampa is very proud of your Mummy and Ah Yee. They have turned out to be very clever people, much cleverer than your Grampa.

Little one, Grampa is boring you with this talk about thinking inside or outside the box. The only box you are interested in is a small one in which you can put in and take your toys; or a bigger one in which you can climb into and pretend you are driving a car. That works too. Grow well in your schooling. Do not let them conform you to their mould, but be transformed in your mental development by good teachers and facilities. Grampa will be helping you as long as Grampa is able.


Dear God,
Thank you the opportunity for this little one to start school. May his education be holistic and may he develop and refine his thinking skills. May he develop a love of books and of learning. May his pursue of knowledge leads to wisdom. May his questing leads to You.
Amen


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Conversation with my Grandson on Smiling

Little one,
you have such a beautiful smile! When you smile, it is as if the sun suddenly come out from behind a dark cloud and flood the room with bright light. Your smile is so genuine and reflects much innocence and joy. Grampa thinks that when you smile, you reveal your soul which is so filled with light! Even the photo of your smile lightens Grampa’s heart. There is a photo of you smiling in your walker at the head of the stairs in Grampa’s house. Whenever Grampa sees that photo, Grampa’s heart will echo with your joy.

Grampa believes that the human face is created to smile. Your Jie Jie loves to draw smiley faces and her notebooks are filled with these faces. Grampa likes to smile too. A smile is contagious. Grampa notices that when you smile, even to complete strangers, often they will smile back. There are other old persons who do not like to smile. They walk around with a constipated look. Even when people smile at them, they do not smile back. Grampa feels pity for them. It does not take much effort to smile. It takes more effort not to smile. Yet there are people who prefer not to smile. Maybe these people have a lot of pain and suffering in their lives. They may be feeling very sad inside. Little one, here you have something to teach these big people. Not matter how bad they feel inside, if they smile like you, maybe they will allow some sunshine in. Maybe the light will drive away the darkness.

Smiling is a choice. It is often an expression of who we are inside. We are a smiling ohana. Your Jie Jie loves to smile and her smile is as angelic as yours. So does your Ah Yee and your grandparents. Little one, I hope that you will continue to smile as you grow up. Some little people who smile a lot when they are small forget to smile when they grow older. That is so sad. Grampa hopes you keep smiling and has all the reasons to smile all the years of your life.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this little one’s smile. Please look after him and give him reasons to smile. Teach him to have a grateful heart. Endow him a joyful soul. Give him a fruitful life. Let him have friends to smile with. Let him wake up every morning and go to bed every night with a smile on his face and in his heart.
Amen

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Conversation with My Granddaughter on Tee Tee

Hi little one,

You must be very excited and eager for your Tee Tee to arrive. For many months you have heard Mummy and Daddy telling you about Tee Tee. You have been watching Tee Tee grow as your Mummy’s tummy become bigger and bigger.

Little one, you are special. Tee Tee is also special. Both of you will be especially special to each other. You see, Tee Tee is your little brother. Grampa also have a little brother who is very special to him. Grampa’s little brother taught him a special Hawaiian word ‘ohana’ which means family. Ohana means to look after, look out for and love one another in a family. Tee Tee is your family. Now you are big sister and Tee Tee is little brother. As the older sister you must look after and take good care of Tee Tee.

Your Mummy, Daddy, grandpas and grandmas will love Tee Tee as much as they love you, little one. Do not worry. There is enough love to go around. Love is not like a piece of cake. The more people who share the cake, the smaller the piece of cake each person will have. No, love is like the ocean. You remember the ocean where Daddy brought you to play with the sand on the beach? The ocean is a big body of water. You will not be able to empty it as you do your milk bottle. The ocean has so much water that nobody can empty it. Love is like that. There is more than enough love to go around that you will have as much love as Tee Tee, and there is still more to share. You are well loved by many people and Tee Tee will be too.

God also has his ohana. God’s ohana is big because it involves many people; both big and small. God’s love is like the ocean. There is enough to go around. So God loves you as much as he loves your  Mummy, Daddy, grandpas, grandmas, Ah Yee, uncles, aunties, and many others. We are all loved equally; fair and square. Love is such a wonderful thing. Slowly you will grow to love your Tee Tee and you will discover that your Tee Tee will be loving you in return.

Little one, you will be surprised when Tee Tee comes that he is very small. Yes, he is a baby. But be patient for Tee Tee will be growing big very fast. Soon he will be following you around, imitating everything that you do, and be looking at you with adoring eyes. This is because you are his only Jia Jia. You have to teach him all the things you have learned in these last three years. You will also to disciple Tee Tee to know how to pray to God and to say grace before food. Sharing your things with Tee Tee is something you are already doing. Grampa has observed you sharing your drink with your Mummy. You offer the drink for Mummy to drink so that Tee Tee can drink. That is very good. Grampa is very proud.

Grampa will still be here to talk and spend time with you even though Tee Tee is here. It will be more fun as our ohana has become bigger. You too have become bigger. Grampa will always be here for you, little one.

Love Grampa,

Dear God,

I commit this little one and Tee Tee into your hands. I ask that you will give them rich full lives and that they will love you deeply in return. We are your ohana.

Amen

08 Oct 2014

Conversations with my Granddaughter on Friends

On friends

Conversations with my Granddaughter

Hi little one,

Grampa love seeing you in your imaginary play. You have a lot of imaginary friends with names like Ethan, Suwen and Catherine. You cook food for them, feed them and comfort them until their parents come to pick them. Your play was so realistic that Grampa often look at the friend you are talking to and surprised to see no one there. For a long time, your imaginary friends piqued Grampa’s curiosity. As a child, could it be possible that you can see the supernatural world which we big people cannot see? Are you interacting with some angelic beings and involving them in your play? Grampa must confess that there have been moments of panic when you invite your friends upstairs to play! You would be holding their hands and helping them to climb the stairs when all Grampa see is you alone on the staircase! You did not notice but sometimes Grampa will sweep his hands in the empty space where your friends are supposed to be. Silly Grampa. It was not until you came home with your class photo that we know who these imaginary friends are. There you are grinning, surrounded by many kids that are bigger than you. Some of them are at least a head taller than you. And neatly, below their faces, your teachers have helpfully labelled your friends’ names – Ethan, Suwen, Catherine…

Little one, it is good to have friends. Friends are people you like and who like you in return. You enjoy their company and playing with them. At this moment, your friends will be around your age but slowly you will discover that you can also make friends with people of different ages- boys, girls, and even big people! It like Peppa Pig who have a lot of friends. Out of all these friends, Peppa has Suzy Sheep which is her ‘very best friend’. And you have watched how Peppa and her friends have fun, play games, get wet, jump in the mud puddles, and look after one another. That is what friends are for. Friends are people you play and have fun with. These people are also ones who care for you, love you and look out for you. And you enjoy spending time together. Piglet asked Winnie the Pooh bear “We’ll be friends forever, won’t we, Pooh?” Pooh answered, “Even longer.”

You will find, little one, that as you grow older, it is harder and harder to find true friends. That is why many big people do not have many real friends. There will be people who want to be your friend so that you can do something for them. Others will want to be your friend because of who your Daddy and Mummy are. Still others will want to be your friend because of who you have become, so that they will reflect your glory. Shun them all except the true friend who loves you and enjoy being with you. A wise ancient big person named Socrates described a friend as one soul in two bodies. Another big person Rudyard Kipling who wrote the Jungle Book describe a friend in his poem as The Thousandth Man. Grampa will explain more when you grow older.

Now just go and play with your friends – whether in school or at home. Grampa understands how you think; there is no separation between real and imaginary persons in your world at this moment. It does not matter that educators named your thinking as concrete. Who cares? Just enjoy playing with your friends.

Dear God,

Please send many friends to accompany this little one on her journey. Let them be true friends of different gender, race and creed. May she learn to be a true friend to them all.

Amen

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Conversations with my Granddaughter on Reading

On words and reading

Conversations with my granddaughter

Hello little one,

Grampa is very happy that you are familiar with the 26 little letters called alphabets. These are like your Duplo bricks. You can fit them together to make things called words. Each word has a special meaning. You almost bowled us over in surprise when you came home from school one day and told us that ‘A’ is for alligator. Such a long word. When Grampa was your age, Grampa only know ‘A’ is for apple.

Words come together to make sentences but you already knew that as you have been speaking in sentences for a few months. And your vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds. Remember when we were watching a fish in an aquarium. You noticed the fish does not have what you describe as ‘covering’ over the eyes. Grampa then taught you a new word, ‘eyelids’. And you spend the evening looking at everyone’s eyelids.

Little one, Grampa is sure that you know the words you are using correspond to the black letters on the pages of a book. That is why you insist that your Mummy or Daddy or Grandma read to you every night before you fall asleep. You instinctively know that these words and sentences make up stories about black birds, pie, queens, falling bridges and a spider that wants to climb up a water sprout. You grew up with books. From your perspective the bookshelves in Grampa’s study are mountains of books.

Grampa is glad that you respect books. You are so happy to have a bookmark for your bedtime storybook similar to those bookmarks you see Grampa and Grandma using for our books. And you do not make marks in Grampa’s books, limiting your drawing and colouring to your own sticker book. Books are to be respected, little one, for they are doorways to awe and wonders, peace and joy, challenge and fulfilment, and ultimately the conveyer of Truth. Your books may be digital in the future but they are still books.

Learning to read is hard work. It will be challenging but Grampa hope that you will persevere. It is Grampa’s hope that you develop a love for books, similar to the love of books that both your Mummy and Ah Yee has acquired. Grampa hope that your reading will help you in discovering new worlds and new civilizations. And these in turn will lead you to boldly go where no little one has gone before. There is a wonderful magnificent world out where, and to be found within you; to be enjoyed if you know how to read.

However, there is no hurry, little one. Take your time. Play with Grampa’s books in the meantime. Use them to make a river for you to jump over, or construct a boat for you and your friends to sail in. Books are your friends, little one. They are happy for you to use them as construction blocks until you know how to read and discover the treasures within.

Dear God,
Please teach this little one to read and instill in her a love of reading and of books. Help her to discover the worlds of imagination and of ideas through the words in books. Lead her to discover You in Your Word, which is the Book of books and the Word of words.
Amen

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Conversations with my granddaughter about technology

Hello little one. I can see that you are having a good time with your iPad. Frankly I am amazed at how your little fingers interact so effortless with the touch screen and how instinctively you seem to know your way around an apps and to change to another apps when you are done with one. Grampa will have taken hours to do what you did within minutes and even then Grampa would need to consult an operating manual (if there is one available).  Things are changing so fast that Grampa has difficulty keeping pace. Grampa is sure you will not be able to imagine a world without mobile smartphones and Facetime where not only can you talk to Grampa but also to see Grampa and show your latest achievement or demonstrate some new acrobat skills you have developed.

This has not always been so, little one. In Grampa’s younger days, there were no computers and mobile smartphones. Grampa had to use a typewriter to write. What is a typewriter, you will ask. To show you, Grampa will have to take you to a museum! You can still see the large house phone at Grampa’s house but in time this will be replaced by the mobile phones.

You grew up with rapidly changing technology so to you are comfortable with it. To many big people technology is a big threat. They will tell you that technology like the iPad will damage your brain and impair your thinking skills. They will further espouse that mobile smartphones will retard your communication skills and sense of community. Do not fear, little one. Grampa do not believe this. As long as you master technology and not the other way around, you will be okay. I am sure that when the printing press was invented, there were a hue and cry about how the printed pages will distort the thinking of those who read these words, the death of writing and the demise of memory. Yet, the printing press has been with us for more that five hundred years and after billion of books, our reshaped society cannot live without the printed word. People still write with pen and paper. They can still use their memory to remember things. Within reasonable limits they seem to be able to think.

Grampa knows that the way you receive and process information will be different from Grampa’s. Grampa’s mental processing tends to be linear following the cause and effect progression. Yours will be new processes of thinking that will take  years of research for educationalists and neuroscientist to understand. However this will be the way your generation thinks. There is nothing wrong with that. What you will think of, experience and create, Grampa, with all his imagination, will never ever conceive of. When you invented a warp capable spaceship, don’t forget to beam Grampa up!

Use technology but do not let technology be your master. Use technology but do not be so dependent on technology that you cannot function without it. Grampa can see that you have no problem with that at this moment. You do your magic with your iPad but Grampa observes that you still go back to your coloring pencils and sticker books. Grampa is happy with that because Grampa is more competent in using color pencils than painting with the iPad!

Dear Lord, help this little one to develop her mental processes so that she will be able to use technology as a tool in her thinking process. Teach and guide her to perceive and receive your truth as you reveal yourself to her. Amen

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Conversations with my Granddaughter (12)

Little by little a mountain is formed

Hello little one,

How beautiful you looked in your red kimono when you celebrated your third Lunar Chinese New Year  (2014). You have enjoyed the festivities and the attention of your uncles and aunties. And you have enjoyed playing with your cousins. Grampa noticed that you especially enjoyed receiving the angpows, red packet containing money that were given by the married and elders to the unmarried grownups and children. Grampa also noticed that you are more interested in the red paper packets than the dollar notes it contain. Your preference is to play with the red packets.

Little one, you will learn as you grow older that the dollar notes are important. You have already observed that growups buy things with it. Dollar notes are called money. That is why your Daddy and Mummy go to work every day. When grownups work they get money. Having money is good. It is necessary to have money. What you may not know is that some grownups are so obsessed with money that they are willing to sacrifice everything to get money. That is not good. Some things must not be sacrificed. For example little children. Children must not be sacrificed. Not even for more money.

Yes, little one, you have observed that money can buy things. Money also can be saved. Grampa have been teaching you how to save money by teaching you to keep your coins in the many superhero coin boxes in Grampa’s study. You have your ironman, batman, wolverine, captain America, hulk and two dinosaur coin boxes. Every morning you put some coins into them. Keeping money is called savings. Savings is one way to make money your servant and not your master. Your Mummy and Daddy will take you to a Bank one day to start a bank account. This is like a big money box. It is good to save money. When you are older, you will understand more.

Little one, it is important to develop a saving habit. Saving money will help you later to buy important things like your education, car, and a house later without having to borrow money. When your Mummy and Ah Yee were young, Grampa and Grandma taught them to save. Every week, your Mummy and Ah Yee was given some money to use for that week. They can use that money to buy food in the canteen or buy sweets or toys. Your Mummy and Ah Yee are also encouraged to save in the ‘Bank of Tang’, an imaginary bank created by Grampa and Grandma. Grampa will set up a savings accounts for each of them. Every time they deposit money, Grampa will give them an account statement which show the amount of money they have accumulated in their accounts. They can withdraw money from their accounts whenever they want. At the end of every month, the “Bank of Tang’ will give them interest (money). Grampa are very generous with the ‘interest rate’ so that your Mummy and Ah Yee are encouraged to save more by seeing their money grow. Little one, you may start with only one coin but know that little by little a mountain is formed (I will talk to you about teutonic plates another time).

Little one, I pray to God that you will never be in want for money. That you will learn to make money your servant but never your master. I will also pray that you will not have so much money that you forget God. Our God is a good God, little one, He always provides.

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Conversations with my Granddaughter (10)

Grandchildren

Little one, you are two years old now. Grampa has been thinking about what a blessing you are and how to put it into words when Grampa came across this quotation from another grandpa who appreciates his grandchildren. This grandpa’s name is Frederick Buechner and he is a writer of books. On the subject of grandchildren, Buechner writes,

To have grandchildren is not only to be given something but to be given something back.

You are given back something of your children's childhood all those years ago. You are given back something of what it was like to be a young parent. You are given back something of your own childhood even, as on creaking knees you get down on the floor to play tiddlywinks, or sing about Old MacDonald and his farm, or watch Saturday morning cartoons till you're cross-eyed.

It is not only your own genes that are part of your grandchildren but the genes of all sorts of people they never knew but who, through them, will play some part in times and places they never dreamed of. And of course along with your genes, they will also carry their memories of you into those times and places too—the afternoon you lay in the hammock with them watching the breezes blow, the face you made when one of them stuck out a tongue dyed Popsicle blue at you, the time you got a splinter out for one of them with the tweezers of your Swiss army knife.

 On some distant day they will hold grandchildren of their own with the same hands you once held them by as you searched the beach at low tide for Spanish gold. In the Meantime, they are the freshest and fairest you have. After you're gone, it is mainly because of them that the earth will not be as if you never walked on it. ~originally published in Beyond Words

Grandpa Buechner is a very wise man. Grampa loved his description of grandchildren because you embodied everything he writes about.

Two years ago when you first arrived, Grampa prayed for you in the hospital. Grampa’s prayer is a prayer of thanks as the Good Lord has given you as a gift to your parents and also to Grampa. Over the two years, you have helped Grampa to realize that you have not also given Grampa a gift of yourself but also additional bonus. The Bible states that children are gifts from God. And Grampa will add that they are bonus to grandparents.

Little one, you have given Grampa the bonus of reliving your Mummy’s childhood. Being first time parents, much of Grandma and Grampa's time is taken up to ensure that your Mummy ‘stay alive’. This may seem funny as your Grampa is supposed to be an expert on children’s health. But when it comes to your own child, there is no such thing as an expert. We were so busy with looking after her, and with our jobs that we did not realize how much of her childhood we have missed. Yes, we did celebrate the day she first walked, say her first word, and placing another mark on the wall to show how much she has grown. You, little one, has made Grampa aware that there are large chunks that Grampa have missed. Now that Grampa do not have to be involved in the day to day care of a growing child, Grampa have the privilege and luxury of observing and enjoying your growth; discovery of new skills, sense of wonder, and the innocent happiness of a child. Grampa cherish our making new memories together. Little one, you are indeed the ‘freshest and fairest’ Grampa have. And Grampa continue to thank God for you.

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Conversations with my granddaughter (9)

Superheroes

Hello little one,

I noticed recently that you are taken up with superheroes. You are running around with your superhero action figures yelling “iron man!” and “spiderman!”  And you have included them in your imaginary play. Instead of the usual tea party I have observed in other children of your age, you have seated them up in a row and with a syringe you serve them medicine! Hmm. I wonder where you learned this from.

You know little one, you are not the only one that is taken up by superheroes. The big people are also taken up by superheroes. They call them celebrities. These are not actually the superheroes that you see in Grampa’s comic books. The big people’s superheroes do not have superpowers. They are good looking and famous.  They are supermodels, sportsman, billionaires, bestselling authors or megachurch pastors. In other words, they are not what the rest of the big people are. Very few big people are great looking, good in sports, very rich, can write, or have the charisma and leadership to look after large churches. Most big people are rather plain looking, overweight, quite poor, have poor reading and writing skills, and have not opportunity to lead others. Yet, these people are buying into the dream that they can be what their celebrities or superheroes are. They believe they can become like them – full of glamour and glory. They put these people on a pedestal and sought to emulate them. They teach their little ones that these celebrities are the role models. I guess in the old days, the big people will make these celebrities gods. Little one, most big people are not happy to be themselves. They spent most of their lives trying to be someone else. That is why there is so much unhappiness in this world. Most big people are not comfortable in their own skins.

Little one, Grampa believes that the true superheroes are not like these big people’s celebrities. Real superheroes are those big people who try their best to look after themselves and their families with whatever resources they have, to the best of their abilities. There is no glamour or glory for these superheroes. Many big people struggle to live day by day, just doing the best with however they have. A wonder woman is the ‘kakak’ who leaves behind a family to work as a maid in a foreign country so that she can earn for her children to have enough food to eat and go to school. A superman is the uncle from Bangladesh who works in the construction site with a lot of heavy lifting, living in frugal crowded condition so that he can earn enough money to send home to his family. These superheroes are willing to suffer loneliness, homesickness, humiliation, and depravity so that their family may have a better life. There are other superheroes too such as the man who is suffering from cancer who trys to be cheerful in spite of his body falling apart; a woman in a loveless abusive marriage, trying to hold it together for the sake of the children; a man who was unfairly imprisoned for daring to speak up for the poor and oppressed; and a person who donate an organ so that another may live. These are true superheroes!

May God grant you, little one, the ability to discern who true superheroes are. These are the ordinary big people around us who strive so hard to make a better life for others. Do not be deceived by the false superheroes on pedestals that have clay feet. Now, go and play with your batman action figure.

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Conversations with my Granddaugther: Serendipity

Hello little one,

It is a joy watching you rediscover the world afresh every morning. The word that comes to Grampa’s mind in watching you is serendipity. It is a long word but it just means discovering or enjoying something good by chance or mistake. Serendipity happens not by searching but by being alive to the moment. From the moment you wake up you are full of energy and want to rush to play with your toys and stuff. Grampa cannot catch up with you anymore. And sometimes Grampa wonders if you have a spare battery hidden somewhere because your energy is boundless.

Each day is a day of discovery and of learning new things, enjoying new experiences, and new sensations through your senses. By playing through the day you are learning much. Through serendipity your learning of new things and new skills increase by leaps and bounds. Every moment brings new objective lesson to be included in your ever increasing knowledge of the world around you. 

Little one, you reminded Grampa that big people has made learning a chore; a legalistic way to acquire new skills and knowledge. They call it schooling or formal education. They force all the little children through it so these children can become productive members of society; which usually means they get good jobs and make a lot of money. Schooling tells the children what they should learn, when they should learn it and how they could remember what they were told. Basically schooling produces little clones of conformist worker drones for the factories. Schooling has become synonymous with learning. And this type of learning kills off serendipity. 

Learning, little one as you have so ably demonstrated, is play. We learn through playing. And everyone enjoys playing. It is fun and energizing. There is laughter and joy. And there is serendipity. And before you know it, everyone has learned something new. How Grampa wish that big people realizes that and return learning to playing. We really learn more about the world, values and character by playing than through memorizing huge chunks of textbooks for examinations (which we promptly forget after the examinations anyway). 

So play on, little one. You will realize one day that life is a big game. So do not take it too seriously, play it well, and have fun along the way. Who knows, serendipity may come along and brings you wisdom to finish this game well.

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