Conversation with my Grandson about Education

Hello little boy,

You look so grown up in your new school uniform and cute school bag. You are so happy that you are now allowed to follow your Jie Jie up the school bus to go to school. Was it only a year ago when you drag your bag following your Jie Jie to the school bus and were upset because they did not allow you on? You were too young then. Now you are big enough. Grampa is very proud and happy that you are starting your formal learning which is a small part of your life-long learning. Formal learning is what you do in school. Life-long learning should be part of who you are, little one.

You have learnt much since you were a little bundle of joy. Well not too little as you were a big baby but a bundle of joy nevertheless. You are still learning. Grampa and Por Por are very impressed by you as you demonstrates new skills every time we see you. You have a long journey ahead of you in your formal schooling – nursery, kindergarten, primary, secondary, junior college, and university. All these are essential if you are to be equipped to be literate and earn a degree for employment. Big people called this schooling an education.

Big people with big titles proudly tell you that this education will teach you not to think inside a box but outside it. Grampa is not impressed with them or their boxes. What Grampa wants for you is to be able to think without a box! Why should you be limited by other big people’s narrow thinking? What Grampa hopes that in these years in school you will develop critical thinking skills and to love learning. This will be more valuable that all the degrees and professional certificates that you earn along the way. The world you grow up into will be different from the world today. Your first degree may get you into your first job. Then you will have to retrain for your next one.

Little one, learn to think critically and love to learning new things, skills and challenges. People has always asked why Grampa and Por Por did not send your Mummy and Ah Yee to be educated in Singapore. Singapore has one of the best schooling system in the world. Grampa and Por Por believed that while in Malaysian school, your Mummy and Ah Yee can learn to think and grow with more freedom. They did not turn out too badly, you will agree. Grampa is very proud of your Mummy and Ah Yee. They have turned out to be very clever people, much cleverer than your Grampa.

Little one, Grampa is boring you with this talk about thinking inside or outside the box. The only box you are interested in is a small one in which you can put in and take your toys; or a bigger one in which you can climb into and pretend you are driving a car. That works too. Grow well in your schooling. Do not let them conform you to their mould, but be transformed in your mental development by good teachers and facilities. Grampa will be helping you as long as Grampa is able.


Dear God,
Thank you the opportunity for this little one to start school. May his education be holistic and may he develop and refine his thinking skills. May he develop a love of books and of learning. May his pursue of knowledge leads to wisdom. May his questing leads to You.
Amen


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Seven Essential Qualities of Godly Fathers

The Seven Principles To Be The World’s Greatest Parents

1. Don’t be a kiasu person
2. Speak the languages of love of children
3. Don’t expect instant results
4. Be and teach gratefulness
5. Learn to let go
6. Walk in the faith
7. Stay close to the Source

 

How to be the world's greatest parents. from Alex Tang



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Conversation with My Granddaughter on Tee Tee

Hi little one,

You must be very excited and eager for your Tee Tee to arrive. For many months you have heard Mummy and Daddy telling you about Tee Tee. You have been watching Tee Tee grow as your Mummy’s tummy become bigger and bigger.

Little one, you are special. Tee Tee is also special. Both of you will be especially special to each other. You see, Tee Tee is your little brother. Grampa also have a little brother who is very special to him. Grampa’s little brother taught him a special Hawaiian word ‘ohana’ which means family. Ohana means to look after, look out for and love one another in a family. Tee Tee is your family. Now you are big sister and Tee Tee is little brother. As the older sister you must look after and take good care of Tee Tee.

Your Mummy, Daddy, grandpas and grandmas will love Tee Tee as much as they love you, little one. Do not worry. There is enough love to go around. Love is not like a piece of cake. The more people who share the cake, the smaller the piece of cake each person will have. No, love is like the ocean. You remember the ocean where Daddy brought you to play with the sand on the beach? The ocean is a big body of water. You will not be able to empty it as you do your milk bottle. The ocean has so much water that nobody can empty it. Love is like that. There is more than enough love to go around that you will have as much love as Tee Tee, and there is still more to share. You are well loved by many people and Tee Tee will be too.

God also has his ohana. God’s ohana is big because it involves many people; both big and small. God’s love is like the ocean. There is enough to go around. So God loves you as much as he loves your  Mummy, Daddy, grandpas, grandmas, Ah Yee, uncles, aunties, and many others. We are all loved equally; fair and square. Love is such a wonderful thing. Slowly you will grow to love your Tee Tee and you will discover that your Tee Tee will be loving you in return.

Little one, you will be surprised when Tee Tee comes that he is very small. Yes, he is a baby. But be patient for Tee Tee will be growing big very fast. Soon he will be following you around, imitating everything that you do, and be looking at you with adoring eyes. This is because you are his only Jia Jia. You have to teach him all the things you have learned in these last three years. You will also to disciple Tee Tee to know how to pray to God and to say grace before food. Sharing your things with Tee Tee is something you are already doing. Grampa has observed you sharing your drink with your Mummy. You offer the drink for Mummy to drink so that Tee Tee can drink. That is very good. Grampa is very proud.

Grampa will still be here to talk and spend time with you even though Tee Tee is here. It will be more fun as our ohana has become bigger. You too have become bigger. Grampa will always be here for you, little one.

Love Grampa,

Dear God,

I commit this little one and Tee Tee into your hands. I ask that you will give them rich full lives and that they will love you deeply in return. We are your ohana.

Amen

08 Oct 2014

The Marriage Vows (1 Cor 7:2-4)

Conversations with my Granddaugther: Serendipity

Hello little one,

It is a joy watching you rediscover the world afresh every morning. The word that comes to Grampa’s mind in watching you is serendipity. It is a long word but it just means discovering or enjoying something good by chance or mistake. Serendipity happens not by searching but by being alive to the moment. From the moment you wake up you are full of energy and want to rush to play with your toys and stuff. Grampa cannot catch up with you anymore. And sometimes Grampa wonders if you have a spare battery hidden somewhere because your energy is boundless.

Each day is a day of discovery and of learning new things, enjoying new experiences, and new sensations through your senses. By playing through the day you are learning much. Through serendipity your learning of new things and new skills increase by leaps and bounds. Every moment brings new objective lesson to be included in your ever increasing knowledge of the world around you. 

Little one, you reminded Grampa that big people has made learning a chore; a legalistic way to acquire new skills and knowledge. They call it schooling or formal education. They force all the little children through it so these children can become productive members of society; which usually means they get good jobs and make a lot of money. Schooling tells the children what they should learn, when they should learn it and how they could remember what they were told. Basically schooling produces little clones of conformist worker drones for the factories. Schooling has become synonymous with learning. And this type of learning kills off serendipity. 

Learning, little one as you have so ably demonstrated, is play. We learn through playing. And everyone enjoys playing. It is fun and energizing. There is laughter and joy. And there is serendipity. And before you know it, everyone has learned something new. How Grampa wish that big people realizes that and return learning to playing. We really learn more about the world, values and character by playing than through memorizing huge chunks of textbooks for examinations (which we promptly forget after the examinations anyway). 

So play on, little one. You will realize one day that life is a big game. So do not take it too seriously, play it well, and have fun along the way. Who knows, serendipity may come along and brings you wisdom to finish this game well.

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Swallowed magnets are dangerous

Warning! SWALLOWED MAGNETS ARE DANGEROUS

Powerful, rare earth (neodymium) magnets are widely available in consumer and industrial products

o Desk or office toys

o Toys

o Office supplies

o Jewelry

o Pain relief products

o Machines and tools

 

§ These magnets usually are small in size and round in shape, like BBs or ball bearings. Magnet ball brand names include BuckyBalls™ and Neocube™

§ Though intended for adult use, they are difficult to keep out of the reach of children

o Shiny and attractive to toddlers

o Used by “tweens” and teens to mimic body piercing jewelry

 

§ Extremely powerful magnetic attractions are produced

o When more than one magnet is swallowed, the magnetic force can bring two pieces of intestine tightly together, and make holes in the intestines

 

 

§ Magnet ingestion can lead to bowel injury, blockage or severe infection

o Over 200 documented cases of children swallowing these magnets

o Most require emergency procedures for removal

o Some require major surgery

 

 

What can parents do?

o Keep tiny ultra-powerful magnets out of the reach of infants and toddlers

o Educate your older children and teens about the risks of swallowing these magnets. These magnets are not children’s toys.

o If your toddler or child swallows these magnets, immediately call your doctor or go to the emergency department. 

HT: Don Cameron

Paediatric Gastroenterologist Royal Children Hospital, Melbourne, Australia

Conversations with my grand-daughter (3)

Hello little one,

What Grampa likes about you is that you are transparent in all that you do. You show your true self and hollers loudly your needs. There are no pretensions in you. When you like someone or something, you smiles and squeals with delight. You show your dislikes by heart curdling screams. You have not learnt to have pretensions. That is good.

You see, pretensions are what many big people develop as they grow up from your age to theirs. For some reasons, some big people want to hide their true nature from the world. Some of them are not happy with who they are and wants to prevent the other people from knowing them. They feel vulnerable or just are discontented. Others are taught that they will be rewarded by their loved ones only if they pretend to be someone else- some one else who behave exactly as their loved ones expected them to behave. While some pretends for rewards, others pretend because of fear. Some big people will punish, use shame, or withhold their love from children if they do not behave the way it is expected. In other words, pretend to do what is expected of you and everything to be okay. Over time, these little ones pretend so hard and long in that role that they forget who they or what their true natures are.

Unfortunately for big people, these pretensions after many years become masks – a persona they show to others. That may be completely different from who they really are. Grampa calls this the real and false self. The real self is the who you started with at birth and the false self is the one you developed as you grow up. The false self seeks to gain approval, affirmation, comradeship and acceptance. However good it looks on the outside, the real self may be hurting inside. It is not real. It is not who you are.

So little one, be your true self all the time. This is who you are. This is who God has created you to be. Draw upon the strength and love of your parents and grandparents, of all those who loves you, and mostly on God who loves in the most, to remain who you are without pretensions.

Love Grampa

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I met Apple Teoh when I was speaking at her church camp a couple of years ago. I find Apple to be a person with exceptional strength, courage and compassion. I am reposting a post of hers (with permission) from her blog I can do it!.

Why Did God Give Me A Child With Down Syndrome?

A friend asked me, ‘Have you ever wondered why God gave you a child with DS when others have typical children?’ She said she knew all the theoretical answers but wanted to know how I would respond. WAH…..this is a tough one man!!

Actually, to be honest, I’ve never really asked God this question. Ha! Maybe that’s how I should tell my friend and wiggle out of this…hehehe…Ok… I shall not clown around…Perhaps when Li-Ann was first born, the emotional side of me might have asked, ‘Why me?’ a few times but apart from that, I had to handle many issues and the practical side of me told me I had to move on. So I did.

I was seriously stuck with this question. It had set me thinking. It took me many months to organise my thoughts…and also to really ask God and wait for His answer.
God gave me His answer in 2 parts. First, He told me Part 2…

God gave us Li-Ann so that we and others can see how a child will grow up as a result of His unconditional love. This was an amazing revelation for me. Being imperfect, I can never imagine how this is ever possible. However, with the Almighty Father, nothing is impossible.

With our older two, parenting has been a continuous challenge. When LA came along, that stretched us further. Surprisingly, CM and I have found ourselves to be more patient (or lax?) with LA (I’m not sure if we are doing better as parents). Maybe we know she needs more time….or maybe we find her really cute….or maybe we are simply tired….Whatever the reason, she’s a joy to be with and we all treasure her.

We witness God’s Hands in moulding LA into a pretty girl who LOVES horse riding, (and she’s GOOD at it) has a mind of her own and will not hesitate to speak if you grant her audience. She is getting more independent and is eager to do things on her own. Now that she has grown taller, she would tip-toe (good way to strengthen her calf muscles) to reach the toilet light switch. With her gross and fine muscles being worked on, she is now more willing to take risks. Li-Ann recently tied a ponytail all by herself!! YEA!! On that day, she did it at least 5-6 times, further enhancing her fine motor skills. I found out it’s not easy for a child to do that.  As LA was given exposure to different sights and sounds, people and places, flora and fauna,  we see rapid growth and development in her speech,  her cognitive capabilities, interests and abilities. Many love her dearly and one, Aunty Louise, even experienced love through her. Perhaps she saw a glimpse of the unconditional love of God through Li-Ann…

As I pondered over these, it dawn upon me that if only more of us are willing to accept and experience this unconditional Fatherly love, regardless of our sufferings and sins, our lives will be full and abundant as Jesus promised in John 10.9-11 (KJV)

I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

It is my prayer that this little soul will enter into a personal relationship with her Heavenly Father, who had created her in secret and knew her even before she was born. And that in spite of any limitations set by her genetic code, God’s will will be lived out in her life.

So what’s Part 1 of God’s answer? God gave us Li-Ann so that we will continue to experience His perfecting work in us as we humbly rely on Him.

Brother John and sister Rebecca simply adore their little sister. They love to hug, kiss and squeeze her. These two were known to fight over issues like ‘LA likes me better than you!’ or ‘LA wants to play with me.’ or ‘LA is MY dog/cat/horse/etc’ (when they pretended to be one another’s pet).’ While I shake my head over such petty quarrels, I saw their affection for one another and I’m grateful for the love that is holding them together. John thinks LA is The Greatest Blessing while Rebecca tells you All About Li-Ann. Here are pictures of this cherished relationship…




One day, a dear friend shared how upset she and her hubby were when one of her family members was so close to labelling LA. Both of them were frantically racking their brains on how to stop what they anticipated was coming forth. Finally the husband said, ‘Li-Ann is special.’ And that put an end to the conversation. I thank my Lord for this long-time pal from secondary school and am extremely touched by this couple’s love for LA. Thank you, brother and sister.

CM grew as a father. He loves the children and will take time to be with them as much as he can and as best as he knows how. He often obliges in our home therapies and even went for a talk on Raising Good Fathers of Children with Special Needs. Thank you Da Da for all the sacrifices you’ve made. Here are some beautiful shots taken by/with daddy…

With

Li-Ann, I come to understand how intricately we are made -  the interconnectedness of our body muscles along with our minds, something a healthy typical person may never realise, until perhaps one is deprived of the normal function of a part of one’s body. With every success, I give thanks for the loving Creator who always guides and protects. With every failure, I give thanks for LA’s motivation and perseverance which has become more spontaneous and sustainable as she grows older.

Matthew 18.10
See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.

Perhaps, when the Lord brought me through my breast cancer surgeries and treatment, He was preparing me for the long haul with my family, including LA. I find the perfectionist me more willing to accept imperfections, interruptions, spontaniety and adjustments. Afterall, nothing is constant except our good Lord and the changes we need to cope with every now and then. Thankfully, He is also the Lord over any change and that’s an important reminder for me when I feel insecure.

James 1.17(NIV)
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Daniel 2.21(NIV)
He changes times and seasons;
   he sets up kings and deposes them.
He gives wisdom to the wise
   and knowledge to the discerning.

Recently, we were at the hair salon when our family hairdresser and another of her regular customer unanimously agreed that I must be a very patient mom since I homeschool my children. I thanked them humbly but the truth is I can be demanding with my children at times. I am grateful for that testimony, for how God has worked in my heart and would not give up on me. Each day, I thank Him for His grace, without which I would not be where I am now.

Do you have someone who require your special and dedicated attention? It is my prayer that as you plod on each day, tired with the mundane, frustrated with your unproductive labour and can’t help but ask ‘Why?’, that God will give you many reasons to give thanks for and that your perseverance will bear fruit.

1 Corinthians 15.57-58
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

original post here

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Value of Fortified Infant Formulas

At the American Academy of Pediatrics National Conference and Exhibition (NCE) in Boston which is being held in 14-18 October 2011, this question was asked:

 Infant Formulas: Are We Making Smarter, Healthier Children?.

Frank Greer, MD, FAAP: ‘There are no studies showing long-term benefits for supplemental DHA/ARA in human infants.'

The claims are generally legal, said Frank Greer, MD, FAAP, University of Wisconsin, but none are supported by robust data..."The trend today is toward boutique formulas with a single brand name covering a family of different formulas with different additives aimed at different market niches," Dr Greer said during "Infant Formulas: Risks and Benefits — Are We Really Making Smarter and Healthier Children?" "All of these formulas are safe and all of them at a basic level will support growth. However, breastfeeding is still the best choice for smarter, healthier babies."..."I don't know of any real advantage to giving growing up formula to a child between 13 and 36 months," Dr Greer said....The same criticism applies to other substances added to infant formula, he said. All have a reasonable rationale, such as adding DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and ARA (arachidonic acid) to grow smarter babies with better vision. Both substances are important to prenatal and postnatal brain development, and both are found in breast milk but not in cow's milk.

Nevertheless, strong data is also lacking on the benefits of supplementing formula with these nutrients..."There are no studies showing long-term benefits for supplemental DHA/ARA in human infants," Dr Greer said. "The most convincing short-term benefit was seen in visual acuity at one year, which results in a one-line improvement in vision on the standard Snellen eye chart. There are no known advantages beyond one year of age."

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Food Wars: Feeding of Children

As a paediatrician, one of my role is as a parenting coach. Some of the commonest questions posed to me are those concerning food and feeding. Everyone who has tried to feed an active toddler will be able to attest that the daily feeding times often escalate to food wars. Their lovingly prepared food finds its way anywhere except into the mouth of the child.

I tell parents that both them and their children has a social contract in children feeding. They each must know where their responsibilities on feeding begin and end.

The parent's responsibility on feeding
what
when
where

The child's responsibility
how much
whether

Much angst and food fights can be avoided if parents understand their responsibilities. Parents are to prepare food at the appropriate time and offer the food to their children at the appropriate place. It is up to the child to decide how much they want to eat and whether they want to eat at all. Parents, of course, being bigger can decide how much their child is to eat by forcing them. Unfortunately parents, for all their size, cannot force the child in deciding whether the child wants to eat. So feeding times become a contest of wills.

Each child is different and the amount of food and timing of their hunger need differs. Parents seem to think that all children must be feed constantly and must ingest food in large amounts. Often this idea comes from comparing their children with other people's children. For some strange reasons, in such comparisons, parents seem to take into consideration children who consume more than their own children and neglect those who take less. Each child is different and after the weaning diet period as long as a child receive three meals and two to three milk supplements, their nutritional needs will be met. There is no necessity for mulitvitamins, spirulina, goat colostrum or other alternate food supplements in a healthy child who is eating. Not now, not ever.

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Spiritual State of the World's Children : Malaysia

A recent survey by OneHope-Asia Pacific and NECF Malaysia titled strangely Spiritual State of the World's Children : Malaysia when it is actually "A Qualitative Study - English Speaking Youth Report" which deals mainly with youths. The survey reveals some interesting facts about the youth and youth pastors in Malaysia and worth the reading. I am fascinated by the weaknesses identified by the study:

Weaknesses & Threats: Relative to Church and Youth Ministry

• Youth today seem to make poor and hasty decisions due to lack of spiritual and parental guidance

• Malaysian youth struggle with self-identity and look to their peers for affirmation and guidance when problems arise

• Youth are so engrossed with the Internet and the virtual world, that they are having problems with interpersonal relationships

• Youth are not interested with the current methods the church is using to reach out to them and they view the church as boring and irrelevant

• Malaysian youth view the education system as weak and rigid which creates tension and frustration among students

• Malaysian youth are often misunderstood by the older generation and this contributes to the growing gap between the two

• The lack of fatherhood and mentors as role models are deterrents to finding new and emerging young leaders

• The amount of time youth spend on tuition and extracurricular activities makes it difficult for the church to be involved in meaningful discipleship-making

• Discipleship is seen as the responsibility of the church, when in fact parents should be more involved in the spiritual growth of their children

• Church leaders recognize that the church is weak in responding to the challenges that exist among Malaysian youth

• Church leaders acknowledge that the societal shift towards materialism will present potential future problems within the church

read more

Do you agree? Young people, what are your views?


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Andrew's Letter to his Son about Merdeka

I met Andrew a few years ago when we were both invited speakers at a youth conference. There is a lot of insight, wisdom and hope in this letter to his son published by The Nut Graph.

A letter to a son about Merdeka

In A Nutshell by Andrew Khoo | 20 August 2010 |

FIRST of all, Benjamin, let me say, “Congratulations!” I know you have worked hard over these last three years, endured many challenges and faced many tests. Learning lots of new stuff may be exciting, but I know it is not always easy. So I am proud of you, son, for having graduated today. It may only have been kindergarten, but I know it was a big and meaningful step for you.

Benjamin and big sister Samantha on graduation day

As I watched you and your classmates today, and the kids from all the other kindergartens walk up on stage to receive their certificates, I was reminded that this country of ours, Malaysia, is as much yours as it is mine. God has allowed me and all the other adults in this country a time to take care of it for you. But the day will come when we will have to turn it over to you and your friends.

I hope we won’t have messed up. I pray that we will have the strength and the courage to do the right things, so that we will be able to pass on to you, son, and those of your generation, a country that is successful. Not just rich in the things that we have — the tall buildings, the big houses, the fancy shops. But rich also in our hearts. To share love with one and all, to be kind and decent to others, to be fair and just to everyone, to let anyone who wants to come and live here and do an honest day’s work the right to call this country home.

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