The Marriage Vows (1 Cor 7:2-4)

The Ring of Power

Three Rings for marriage foundations under the sky,
Seven for principles of marriage carved in stone,
Nine for the Holy Spirit fruit that marriage underlie,
One for the marriage vows on the wedding throne
In the Land of Marriage where blissfulness lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to guide them,
One Ring to bring them all and in matrimony bind them.

In the Land of Marriage where blissfulness lie.

with apologies to

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

--- J.R.R. Tolkien's epigraph to The Lord of The Rings.

The Marriage Vows

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Sex and the Married Man

Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and movie star (the Terminator)’s infidelity hit the headlines.

Meanwhile Michael Hyatt shares some thoughts about protecting his marriage.

Here are three actions I take in order to protect my marriage:

1. I invest in my relationship with Gail [Michael Hyatt's wife]. It is amazing to me that so many men are willing to invest such enormous spiritual, emotional, and financial resources in relationships other than the one they have. This doesn’t make economic sense. If you want your marriage to grow and flourish, you must invest in it. This means investing time—dreaming, laughing, listening, and crying together.
2. I set specific boundaries. This may sound old-fashioned, perhaps even legalistic. So be it. I think our world could use a little old-fashioned common sense. Therefore:
   • I will not go out to eat alone with someone of the opposite sex.
   • I will not travel alone with someone of the opposite sex.
   • I will not flirt with someone of the opposite sex.
   • I will speak often and lovingly of my wife. (This is the best adultery repellant known to man.)
3. I consider what is at stake. What story do I want my grandchildren to tell? This puts it all in perspective for me. Do I want them to be proud of my life’s story or embarrassed? Do I want to be remembered as a person who was loves his wife and is faithful to her? Or do I want to be the one who squandered his legacy in a moment of indiscretion?

What do you think?

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State of Marriage: Married, Separated, Divorce

Christianity Today, June (Web-only), 2010

Speaking Out

Learning from the Gores about the Grace of Separation

Why separating can be pro-family.

Glenn T. Stanton, Director of Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family | posted 6/04/2010 10:40AM Christianity Today online

There are inconvenient truths.

Earlier this week, Al and Tipper Gore announced to a small circle of close friends via e-mail—and thus to the world—that they are separating after 40 years of a seemingly very happy and successful marriage.

Far too often we are surprised by news that a couple is divorcing when we all thought things were fine. But seldom do we hear, as we did with Al and Tipper, that a couple is separating. Was this carefully crafted PR language to avoid the "d word"—or is this truly descriptive of their situation? Few know. Regardless, it provides an opportunity to discuss marital separation and what it can mean for marriage.

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It is interesting to note about the "grace of separation." Are Christians now called to accept three categories of marriage: (1) married, (2) separated and (3) divorce ?

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Sex after Marriage

From Christianity Today online

Illustrations by Tim Baron

THE VILLAGE GREEN Help That Makes a Difference What's the best way to encourage people to save sex for the covenant of marriage? Mark Regnerus: Focus on Calling Richard Ross: Make a Promise to Jesus Donna Freitas: Stop Talking Marriage

Grounds for Divorce in St Matthew

The latest from Thinking Faith...


Grounds for divorce in St Matthew
Fr Jack Mahoney concludes his series of scriptural reflections by looking at the two passages in St Matthew’s Gospel in which Jesus appears to tell his followers that divorce is allowed in certain circumstances. These passages contrast dramatically with the rest of the New Testament, where Jesus is several times reported as totally forbidding divorce. What can we make of this remarkable difference? Read >>

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Online Dating and Early Marriage

from Christianity Today.com

COVER PACKAGE The Case for Early Marriage Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot. By Mark Regnerus COVER PACKAGE Restless, Reformed, and Single Online dating services argue that God can use virtual reality too. By Sarah Pulliam

Prayer of the Father of the Bride

The pomp and ceremonies of the wedding are over, the last revelers have gone home and the young couple has embarked on their honeymoon. Here am I, O Lord, sitting quietly before you. I wish to thank you for the privilege of being the father of the bride. My heart is bursting with gratitude that come from your wonderful generosity. When I first held my little girl in my arms - so small, warm, fragile and beautiful – I know that it is pure grace that brought her into my life. As I watch her grow from a baby to childhood and gradually blossom into womanhood, I can feel your presence in our little family and your smile upon us all. Father, I confess that I have not been a good father but I have been trying my best. For whatever my shortcomings have been in bringing her up, I trust in your Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps.

Father, I pray that you will help her to become the helpmate to the man you have so carefully chosen for her. Let them be anamcara to each other. Now, they have to learn from each other. Please give them lots of grace for each occasion, overflowing with forgiveness, and joy in their new life together. May their love grow into hesed love – a covenant love of commitment.

As they grow closer to each other, let them grow closer to you, O Lord, the originator and finisher of their faith. And as they begin their journey together, may they partake of the goodness of your table fellowship, drink deep of your living water, and dive deep into your fathomless depths. You are a self-revealing God. Please help them to appreciate your presence in their everyday life. May they grow in their marriage as they grow deeper into knowing and becoming like your Son. Yet in their growing, let them allow one another to reach their full potential as themselves, not as each other’s expectation, but as their own unique personalities.

As you have taught us, there is a season for everything. There will be times of great rejoicing and there will be times of great sorrow. Here, in the springtime of their marriage, give them joy as they discover the pleasures of each other. Protect them with your angels and build a hedge around them that they may be safe from pettiness and violence of this world. Lead them to your communities of faith that will nurture and nourish them in all ways. Give them a sense of vocation and involve them in your missio dei.

Father, help me to ‘let go’ of my little girl and to welcome a new ‘son’ into my family. It is a time of transition for me and my joy is bitter-sweet. This is a new experience for me though I know that many fathers have walked this path through time immemorial. I must now take on a different role. Teach me, O Lord, to be a blessing to them.

18 July 2009

A Christian Marriage

“It is the statement about marriage that is repeated four times in the Bible. The Bible does not speak very often about marriage. Therefore it is the more striking that this statement appears four times in very decisive places. First, it sums up the story of creation in the second chapter of Genesis. Then, Jesus quotes this statement in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7, after He is asked about divorce. Finally the apostle Paul relates directly to Jesus in Ephesians 5:31”

Genesis 2:24
GE 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

“This verse has three parts. It mentions three things which are essential to marriage: to leave, to cleave, and to become one flesh.”