Another Perspective of Mentoring

The Risk of Mentoring

e-Commentary - 2012 from Graceworks

Written by Soo-Inn Tan (posted with permission)

Friday, 01 June 2012 08:45

"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." (1 Corinthians 3:6-7 NIV) Recently I spoke at a camp for Malaysian Care, a Malaysian evangelical ministry committed to meeting human need in Jesus's name. They work among groups like the urban and rural poor, drug addicts, and prisoners. I am deeply encouraged by their commitment to show God's love in very difficult situations. I was honoured to speak at the camp. The new executive director of the ministry welcomed me and reminded me that I had done his marriage preparation and conducted his wedding, and had had him in one of my discipleship groups. He called me a mentor. I praised God and must confess to some degree of "parental pride." But I have another confession to make. At first, I couldn't remember. All the events he referred to took place about twenty years ago. I had forgotten. And we had not been in touch for a while. I was somewhat embarrassed but as he shared I began to recall some of the times we had spent together. It began to come back to me. The whole incident reminded me of a key principle of ministry. We are called to be faithful, to do what the Lord has called us to do. We cannot know what our ministry will result in down the road. Indeed we may never know until the life to come (1 Corinthians 4:5a). And surely we cannot guarantee how people will turn out. There are too many variables. And finally that is God's call. We are just called to be faithful. I have been committed to mentoring for a long time now. I am as enthusiastic about mentoring now as when I started more than thirty years ago. If anything I am even more convinced that the key way to grow people is to walk with them. Relational ministry is very demanding in terms of time and energy. I am more preacher than mentor. Mentoring takes a lot out of me. But I am committed to mentoring because it is the primary way to shape lives. It is Jesus's way. He called His disciples so that they might be with Him (Mark 3:14), to be in a relationship with Him. Lives are changed through relationships. However I don't think that mentoring will ever be a popular ministry. It is very inefficient. Since it is so time intensive you can only mentor a few at any one time. Mentoring requires transparency. Your mentorees will come to know your strengths and weaknesses. Clay feet are soon revealed, a threat to leaders who want to maintain a facade of being people who have it all together. And mentoring, powerful as it is, cannot guarantee how mentorees will turn out. Bernice and I have found out that some mentorees who held so much promise, never fulfilled their potential while others, whose lives were a mess, turned out spectacularly. Mentoring then, as in all we seek to do for the Lord, demands that we be faithful. Our job is to "plant and water" but only God can give the growth. I know so much more about mentoring now than when I first started. I made all sorts of mentoring mistakes along the way. Yet once in awhile you meet someone like the present executive director of Malaysian Care. And you know it's God. Who are you walking with? .

Mentoring and Spiritual Formation

In Homer's great epic, the Odyssey, Odysseus, king of Ithaca, sets sail to lay siege to Troy, leaving behind a young wife and an infant son, Telemachus. However, he also leaves behind his trusted friend to instruct, train and guide his son to be the future king. "I leave with you this son, whom I so tenderly love; watch over his infancy if you have love of me, keep flattery far from him; teach him to vanquish his passions."[1] This man's name is Mentes (Greek) or Mentor (Latin). Thus the word "mentor" entered the English language. A mentor, as defined by the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is a trusted counselor or guide. A person who is being mentored is called a protégé. If I were to ask you to name the greatest mentor in the New Testament aside from Jesus, who would you choose? I believe most people will choose the Apostle Paul. My vote is for Joseph of Cyprus. This unassuming man, after knowing Jesus Christ, sold part or all of his lands in Cyprus and donated the proceeds to the church in Jerusalem. He stayed on in Jerusalem and had such a wonderful reputation that they called him Barnabas, which translates as the Son of Encouragement.

It was Barnabas who chose to be a mentor to Paul when he first came to Jerusalem to meet the church there. The disciples were understandably suspicious of Paul, their former enemy who persecuted Christians. It was Barnabas who sponsored Paul and won the confidence of the rest of the apostles (Acts 9:26-27).

Barnabas and Paul were sent out on a missionary venture and it may have been Barnabas who convinced the companions who joined them in Paphos that Paul was trustworthy (Acts 13:13). When Paul and Barnabas disagreed over giving John Mark a second

chance, it was Barnabas who took John Mark under his wings (Acts 15:36-38). Later Paul

came to depend on this young man. I believe that it was due to the mentoring of Barnabas that Paul became such an effective mentor himself. He proved that when he wrote as a mentor to Timothy, "And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others" (2 Tim 2:2).

Without Barnabas, Paul may not have had such a profound influence on the development of the early church. After Barnabas had mentored Paul, Paul started mentoring a large number of protégés. One of Paul's strategies was to mentor protégés from different parts of Asia Minor. At one time, Paul's entourage consisted of nine men: Sopater (Berea, Macedonia), Aristarchus and Seccundus (Thessalonica). Luke (Philippi), Gaius (Derbe, Galatia), Timothy (Lystra, Galatia), Tychicus and Trophimus (Ephesus, Asia) and Titus (Achaia). When Paul's protégés returned home, they could effectively spread the gospel. Hence with this precedent in the early church, it is surprising to discover that mentoring is not commonly done in our churches nowadays. Instead mentoring has become popular in the secular world, especially among those in management.

How is mentoring different from discipleship?

Discipleship is different from mentoring as the table below shows:

	Discipleship	Mentoring
Is it scriptural?	Taught and modeled in Scripture	Modeled in Scripture
Models in Scripture	Timothy	Barnabas
Primary basis of interchange	Content	Relationship
Type of role	Teaching new believers spiritual truths	Caring for and helping a person in all aspects of life
Whose agenda?	Discipler's agenda (spiritual disciplines)	Protégé’s agenda (goals/problems)
Training required	Academic knowledge and personal mastery of the spiritual disciplines	Practical experience relevant to protégé
Time frame	Limited time for duration of study	Life-long as needed
Focus of time together	Teaching the spiritual disciplines	Supporting toward maturity in all areas of life
Modern role parallels	Disciplined mature teacher	Loving uncle, aunt or close, more mature friend
Essential message	To mature spiritually, here is what you need to know, do, or become	How can I help you get where you are going?

(modified from Biehl, 1996, 29-30)

As we can see from the table above, discipleship is narrower in its objectives while mentoring is broader and helps to develop a more holistic person. This involves a long time and is not as objective-oriented as discipleship. Basically in mentoring, a more mature Christian is helping a younger Christian grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally through the stages of his or her life. It is a long-term commitment. As my mentor Dr Philip Cheong once commented. "We can help develop a spiritual life one-mile wide and one inch deep or one-inch wide and one-mile deep." Mentoring is building a spiritual life that is one-mile deep.

To show how mentoring can fit into our ministry, Bobb Biehl, who has consulted with the various ministries of Campus Crusade for Christ since 1980, has this to say:

In a year’s time, you may see 300 students come to Christ in your Campus Life program. Out of this 300 you will probably have 30 that become involved in a leadership program in which you will disciple them over a years period in the Ten Steps to Maturity. But when the year is up, you may say, "God bless you. Go in peace!"

This is great! You do wonderful work! But consider what would happen if you were to choose one to three students out of your discipleship 30 who you think have the most long-term potential, the greatest heart for God, or the highest potential to lead all of Campus Crusade someday and say to them, "I'd like to be one of your life mentors." Mentoring can be a logical extension of the discipling process for a few students per year, and the discipling can continue.[2]

Mentoring means building deeply into a few disciples for more lasting influence. It may

be considered an extension of the many discipleship programs available. Mentoring builds up spiritual maturity in life situations and the stages of life. In some cases, mentors choose the persons they want to mentor and approach them. In other situations, Christians who want to develop in their spiritual life seek out mentors to help them.

The mentoring process

The mentoring process is a process of spiritual formation both in the mentor and the protégé. Frequently mentors have shared that they have learnt as much from their protégés as their protégés have learnt from them. Mentoring is not a teaching program but a sharing of life experiences. Often it involves spending time together and the protégé sharing what problems or difficulties he or she is facing at the moment. The mentor then shares out of his or her own life experiences in similar situations. Eugene Peterson wrote, "The life of Christ emerges from within the actual circumstances of our seemingly very unspiritual lives — the daily stuff of ordinariness and accidents and confusion, good days and bad days, taking the humdrum and the catastrophic both in stride."[3]

The mentoring process should also be saturated with prayer and study of the Word. In any mentoring process there are three parties present: the mentor, the protégé and the triune God. Both the mentor and the need to learn to be sensitive to the leading of

the Holy Spirit who will lead them into the depths and mysteries of God in everyday life.

Conclusion

Good mentors are hard to find. A good mentor can make a lot of difference in our spiritual formation and can help us discern the presence of God in our lives. Mentoring can help to facilitate our spiritual growth. The church needs a great number of good mentors — godly, mature men and women who are willing to invest their lives in a few younger people. What a difference that will make in the expansion of the Kingdom of God.

Published in The Great Commission: building movements everywhere, March 2007, 10-11,13

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[1] Quoted in James M Houston, The Mentored Life: From Individualism to Personhood (Colorado Springs: NavPress. 2002). 33

[2] Bobb Biehl, Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers. 1996), 31

[3] Eugene H Peterson, The Wisdom of Each Other: A Conversation between Spiritual Friends (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1998), 53

Spiritual Mentors and Spiritual Fathers

One of my greatest joy last year was to reconnect with my spiritual mentor or should I say, spiritual father, Dr Philip Cheong (D.Min, BSc,Dip.Ed) via the Internet. Philip and his wife Catherine has been instrumentally in taking in a very young and very green medical student who just became a Christian under their wings.

Philip Cheong in centre (blue Hawaiian shirt)

They did not have to help me. At that time, Philip was the Ministry Leader for the Navigators for Malaya University (MU) and was very busy. He did not have to take on an addition burden like me who is from a different university, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM). I guess I must have looked very pathetic so he invited me in and trained me together with his other students. He will schedule one-to-one Bible study with me after which we will have dinner with Catherine. He did not have  any own children at that time yet. After dinner, we have to wash the dishes. He insisted that discipleship involves how you wash your dishes. I will lather and wash and he will dry. Often he handed the plate back for another wash because it is not clean enough. I am remember the grin on his face when he demonstrated that in a well clean plate, you can rub it and it emit a clear sound. Discipleship needs a standard of excellence. It was tough training which include Bible memorization, inductive bible study and evangelism in the streets. He helped me to lay down a strong foundation for my spiritual life.

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Letter from Nairobi

One of my mentors, Rev Dr Jennifer Turner has for many years served as a pastor in two Baptist churches and as senior pastor of a Churches of Christ congregation in Perth, Western Australia. Jennifer continues to teach as part of the adjunct faculty of Vose Seminary: the Baptist Theological College of West Australia.

Recently, she has resigned from her pastoral post and seeks to serve overseas. She is now in Nairobi. This is a letter she wrote to Geoff Pound on the blog, Theologians without Borders.



Hi Geoff,

Greetings from Nairobi!
You asked me before I left Perth about writing up something for the TWB website about our experiences. So here is some answer to your questions and an update after one month in Nairobi:

After nearly 20 years as a pastor, most recently as Senior Minister of Dianella Church of Christ, and a similar time lecturing in theological colleges on a sessional basis, I retired in 2007 with a view to spending the next few years between being in Western Australia for family and mentoring commitments, and serving overseas in short term assignments in training pastors and conference speaking.

My husband has been a research scientist with a particular interest in agriculture in developing countries for over 40 years and we have lived at different times in several countries. He still has research interests in India and China but we have always had a heart interest in Africa, including a Sudanese congregation as part of Dianella church. So it seemed good to use our expertise, availability and financial security to put this to use under God in places where we could jointly make a contribution. And that could be just about anywhere!

We are currently in Nairobi for 3 months while Neil prepares a report for two international organisations on the effects of climate change on food crops and their research programs. This has given me time here to make contacts and offer my teaching to a number of theological centres. The next 6 weeks will be busy with visits to Zimbabwe and Malawi (for him) and western Kenya, Sudan and Uganda (for me). Later in the year we will spend time in Cambodia and China. Next year looks quite open at this stage but we will access our experience of this year and build on that.

What have I learned so far? The transition out of pastoral ministry was more difficult than we expected. In one sense we lost our community of support with leaving our congregation, though being free of the day to day demands of a church is freeing! And because we are coming and going, we are still sitting on the sidelines of the congregation we are attending when we are in Perth. I have developed an email support team which I contact each week with news and requests for prayer support. Here in Nairobi, we are again only loosely involved with a church, again because we are travelling frequently.

We have also been making plans for this kind of ministry for some time, and built a new house which we could lock up and leave more easily by having someone live in a self contained flat attached to it. But it has taken longer than expected both in Perth and here to make the contacts and build the relationships needed to be effective even in short term ministries. Being a woman pastor and theological lecturer has probably contributed to this too. In 2004 and 2006 I was the Bible teacher at a conference for pastors in Pakistan and thoroughly enjoyed this opportunity. But the link with that group of churches stayed with my previous congregation and I have had to start afresh in making contacts. Theologians Without Borders has assisted in some future arrangements but it would obviously help if the links to overseas ministry grew out of a person’s previous links (either personal, through their denomination or local church or theological institution). There is no doubt however, that colleges in Africa and elsewhere are appreciating the contribution of experienced western Christians alongside their own people. Two weeks seems the usual expectation for an intensive, though later this month I will spend just one week, but take the program with third and fourth year Bible students in a College in western Kenya.

The biggest challenge has been to find places where both my husband and I can contribute at the same time. Fortunately both of us also have writing commitments which we pursue from our apartment or hotel if the other has greater time demands in any one place. Wireless internet has been a great boon in this and I have been mentoring, marking student papers and supervising doctoral students from three continents from Nairobi!

In all the possibilities for service overseas, we have taken the approach of throwing out a lot of feelers, and trusting God to direct by the responses (or non-responses!) we receive. We expect several of these links we are making to continue with shorter visits on an annual basis. Most of all, the challenge has been to have that mix of humility about what we can contribute and a confidence that if God opens doors he will equip for the task. We are both pretty flexible people, who love travelling and learning, and we are greatly enjoying this experience (most of the time). And we are even learning that it’s OK to enjoy serving in sometimes difficult circumstances. As Buechner says, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Rev Dr Jennifer Turner

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