Monday, April 09, 2012

Conversations with my grand-daughter (3)

Hello little one,

What Grampa likes about you is that you are transparent in all that you do. You show your true self and hollers loudly your needs. There are no pretensions in you. When you like someone or something, you smiles and squeals with delight. You show your dislikes by heart curdling screams. You have not learnt to have pretensions. That is good.

You see, pretensions are what many big people develop as they grow up from your age to theirs. For some reasons, some big people want to hide their true nature from the world. Some of them are not happy with who they are and wants to prevent the other people from knowing them. They feel vulnerable or just are discontented. Others are taught that they will be rewarded by their loved ones only if they pretend to be someone else- some one else who behave exactly as their loved ones expected them to behave. While some pretends for rewards, others pretend because of fear. Some big people will punish, use shame, or withhold their love from children if they do not behave the way it is expected. In other words, pretend to do what is expected of you and everything to be okay. Over time, these little ones pretend so hard and long in that role that they forget who they or what their true natures are.

Unfortunately for big people, these pretensions after many years become masks – a persona they show to others. That may be completely different from who they really are. Grampa calls this the real and false self. The real self is the who you started with at birth and the false self is the one you developed as you grow up. The false self seeks to gain approval, affirmation, comradeship and acceptance. However good it looks on the outside, the real self may be hurting inside. It is not real. It is not who you are.

So little one, be your true self all the time. This is who you are. This is who God has created you to be. Draw upon the strength and love of your parents and grandparents, of all those who loves you, and mostly on God who loves in the most, to remain who you are without pretensions.

Love Grampa


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